"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
I can't help but think of this verse every time I reflect on Vivi's birth story. Everything about the experience was flooded in prayer, from the first day that we found out we would be having a baby. Living abroad has taught me a lot about the power of prayer, and Vivi's birth was no different.
Tim and I found out that we were expecting on July 15, 2011. It was an amazing day, and a scary day as well. Although it was a planned pregnancy, we were still scared facing the reality that we would be having a baby in EGYPT. It's funny, I remember at one point, before we moved to Egypt, I said,
"I will NEVER give birth in Egypt!" I guess that's a lesson to never
say never! When I told Tim that I was pregnant, we cried tears of happiness, and then I said, "What are we going to do?" And Tim said, "We just have to pray." And that's what we did. Our prayers were for a good doctor, a smooth pregnancy, a complication-free natural birth, and a healthy baby.
After a horrible experience with a doctor in the States, we couldn't help but think that there was a reason we were having our baby in Egypt. With the doctor in the States, we were told that it looked like I might miscarry, and then after having a successful ultrasound at 10 weeks, they scared us into thinking there was a complication. As it turns out, there was no reason for them to think the pregnancy wouldn't continue, and there was no complication whatsoever. The doctor was cold and uncaring, and just all about the business. When I walked out of that doctor's office for the last time, I was so glad that I would never have to see that place ever again. And I felt hopeful about the doctor God had for us in Egypt.
When we returned to Egypt after our summer vacation, we started looking for doctors right away. I had just entered my 2nd trimester, and I was anxious to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. We got lots of recommendations from people, and finally felt good about one. It was a female doctor, which made me feel at ease, not to mention, she had studied in England and spoke perfectly fluent English. We told her about our birth plan and how we wanted a natural birth, and she seemed willing to work with us. We had found our match!
Even though we had found a great doctor, we still felt somewhat apprehensive. Egypt is a country in which doctors are quick to administer drugs, and do C-sections and episiotomies, and we didn't want any of this. We wanted a completely intervention-free birth. And even though our doctor seemed fine with our very detailed birth plan, we wondered if she would follow through with what we wanted on the actual day. We knew several people who said that their doctors just defaulted to what they were used to doing. But what could we do? All we could do is pray and trust that God had the situation under control... and we could get prepared.
At the start of my third trimester, I started reading the book, "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way". It's all about having a birth that is husband-coached, and focusing on completely relaxing the body during contractions and breathing deeply. There were lots of exercises and practice contractions involved, and Tim and I did them all. I devoured the information in the book, and it was so empowering to me. It outlined exactly what would happen, why it would happen, and what I could do to deal with the pain. I always thought I would be paralyzed with fear about giving birth, but after reading this book, I felt like I could do it. In addition to the Bradley Method preparations, I also made a birth affirmations book. I was inspired to do this by my friend, Allison, and it was great preparation. In the book, I had Bible verses and prayers that Tim could read to me while I was in labor. Verses about strength, waiting, courage, and prayers for Vivi and the doctors. Also in the book, I included a copy of our birth plan, and note cards for Tim to quickly reference, since he was my birth coach. The preparations were coming along!
As my due date drew nearer, we started praying very specifically. First, we prayed that I would go into labor on time, not early or late. The reason I didn't want to go into labor early is because Spring break was a week before my due date, and if I had Vivi early, Spring break would count towards my maternity leave. I prayed that I would be able to go to work one day after Spring break and then start my maternity leave the next day, so that I could maximize my time off with Vivi. Also, my parents were coming to Egypt for just three weeks, and we really wanted them there for the birth. We also wanted them to have as much time with Vivi as possible. So we prayed that Vivi would be right on time. Secondly, we prayed that I would go into labor at the perfect time of day so that we could drive to the hospital in the middle of the night. One thing you need to know about Egypt is that traffic is HORRIBLE. Since our hospital was downtown and not very close to us, we hoped that we would be able to travel the roads at a time when there was hardly any traffic, preferably in the middle of the night. Third, we prayed for our experience with our doctor and the hospital. I knew that very few nurses at the hospital would speak English. I
knew that having a natural, intervention-free birth was very rare in
Egypt. And I knew that my doctor's expertise was in C-sections, so that she might be more likely to tell me I needed one. So we took all of these fears, and we prayed. Fourth, we prayed that I would be able to handle the pain and deliver naturally. Tim says that I am a "pansy" when it comes to pain, and it's true! I don't have a high tolerance for pain, so I was nervous about what would happen to me during labor. I really didn't want to throw out all of our plans in the heat of the moment. I wanted the natural birth experience, but I didn't know what to expect in terms of pain. Finally, we prayed for Vivi to be perfectly healthy. The amazing thing about all of this prayer is that God had gave me a
peace that transcended understanding about the whole situation. I still had uncertainties, but I knew that God would take care of the situation, and
that he would be with us, even if things didn't go according to our
plan.
When my parents arrived in Egpyt on March 13th, things started to feel very real. I was really going to do this! I knew that it could happen any day now. In a race against time, we did a bunch of sightseeing in 3 days so that my parents would get to experience Cairo and, of course, the pyramids! Thankfully, I was still feeling mostly good and energetic, so we had a good time. Then on March 17th, I had a doctor's appointment. It was a little disappointing because my doctor said that the baby had not dropped, and she started telling me her procedures for inducing. I cringed because induction was not what I wanted. So we prayed that Vivi would come on time and that I wouldn't have to be induced.
Spring break ended, and just as we had prayed, I was able to go back to work. That meant that the next day, March 19th, was my first day of maternity leave. We were so thankful that I had made it that long, but hopeful that we wouldn't have to wait much longer for things to start happening. Little did we know, we wouldn't have to wait at all!
On the morning of March 19th, I woke up feeling achy. I really felt that it was the start of labor, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I downplayed it. Then I started to feel some contractions throughout the day that felt very different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I had had. Again, I didn't want to say, "I'm in labor!" and then be wrong, so I didn't make a big deal of it. My parents and I went to the mall, walked around a lot, ate lunch, went shopping, and the tightening that I was feeling got more and more intense. By 2:30, I was pretty sure it was the early signs of labor, so I texted Tim that I thought things were starting. I was excited, but still a little unsure since I had never felt labor pains before. When Tim got home from school, we started timing the contractions, but they were irregular. Sometimes 10 minutes apart, sometimes 15 minutes apart. Maybe this wasn't it? Could it be false labor? That evening, we went to small group. All throughout my pregnancy, my small group had been praying for Vivi's health, for our doctor, and for a natural delivery, and that night, my friend Katherine prayed very specifically that I would have Vivi the next day. I felt a peace come over me.
When we got home from small group, we started to get ready for bed, but I couldn't sleep. Contractions were getting more intense, but we were confused because they were still very irregular. Sometimes 7 minutes apart, sometimes 2 minutes apart. Tim and I were both shaken up by this, because we didn't know what it meant. We knew that we wanted to spend a good amount of time laboring at home before going to the hospital, but with irregular contractions, we weren't sure what to do. Tim tried to keep me calm during contractions, but it was really hard for me. I felt nervous because the pain was already pretty unbearable. Then, my water broke. We knew we were in the thick of it now! I knew that I wouldn't be able to get through this if I didn't calm down, so I really focused on relaxing, and I started getting it. My mom came in at one point, and I remember her saying that I was doing a good job of relaxing, so I felt encouraged. But then, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I started throwing up after each contraction, and just felt miserable. In between contractions was when I was supposed to relax and regroup, but I couldn't do that if I was throwing up! I did the best that I could to stay calm, but it was difficult.
At about 3am, things were getting serious. I felt that it was time to go to the hospital, so Tim called Norris, and he got us to the hospital in just 20 minutes! There was hardly any traffic, and that was such an answer to prayer! When we got there, I was already dilated 4 centimeters! I was so thankful that all of my work thus far had not been for nothing. We got up to our room, and it was really nice. It was separated into two sections with a sliding door. There was my room and a living room area, so my parents had a place to sit. For the next 5 hours or so, Tim and my mom were amazing at helping me through contractions. My mom rubbed my back, and Tim reminded me of how to breathe and relax. Every hour someone would come in to check my progress, and each time I had dilated more. Things were really moving!
Thinking back on it, I think I went into a different level of consciousness during labor. My eyes were closed almost the whole time, and I was aware of only what was going on inside of me. I didn't want music playing, I didn't want to be read to from my birth affirmations book, I just wanted quiet so that I could focus. I was glad, however, that I had made my birth affirmations book because verses and prayers kept running through my head.
After about 5 hours in the hospital, I was dilated almost 10 centimeters, and it was almost time to push! At this time, I had to switch to the operating room, which was torturous because every time I had to move or switch beds, I had a horribly painful contraction. In Egypt, the husband usually doesn't accompany his wife during labor and delivery, so the nurses didn't understand why Tim was coming with me. They told him he couldn't come in the operating room, but I grabbed his hand and didn't let go as they wheeled me in. I needed him! So they gave him some scrubs and let him stay. I can't imagine what Egyptian women go through without their husbands there to coach and support them. Maybe that's why there is such a need for drugs and C-sections. I know that I wouldn't have wanted to have a natural birth without Tim's help.
The hardest part of labor was in the transition period, right before it was time to push. It was excruciating! At one point, I yelled out, "God, please help me!" And thankfully he did. When my doctor arrived, finally I was allowed to push. And the pushing stage was not what I had expected. I thought it would be really painful, but it wasn't at all. It was just really hard work! Since my doctor wasn't used to natural deliveries, she was a little impatient to get Vivi out. She even asked another doctor to push on my stomach to help her come out. It was not comfortable. But then, after about an hour and a half of pushing, Vivienna arrived!!! Tim said it was amazing to see her come out! She was 7.5 pounds, 20 inches long, and healthy! When they put her in my arms, I couldn't believe that she was really mine, and that she had come out perfectly naturally! It was just as we had prayed.
I got to hold Vivi for a few minutes, but then they needed to take her to the nursery to get some fluid cleared out of her lungs. Tim was with her the entire time. The doctors still had to do some work with me, so I stayed behind. We had decided ahead of time that we wanted to have the umbilical cord blood collected and saved, since it has life-saving potential for many different diseases. So, the doctor collected the cord blood sample. Also at that time, I had to get a few stitches. For the most part, I felt good, and I was ready to have Vivi in my arms again.
When our little family of three was reunited again, it was an amazing feeling. We just stared at Vivi and were confident that she was the most beautiful baby in the world. We felt so blessed, and so aware of how God had answered all of our prayers of timing, traffic, smooth delivery, and a healthy baby. We were thankful for our small group, church, family, and friends who had been partnering in prayer with us. What a powerful experience to see such clearly answered prayers.
Later, my doctor came in and said that all the nurses were so impressed with us. They couldn't believe that I had given birth without any drugs, and they said they wished that all husbands were as amazing as Tim was with the whole process. And let me just say that he really was amazing. His words of encouragement and support were perfect, and it was incredible to share this experience with him. My doctor also said she was very proud of me because she didn't think I would be able to go through everything naturally. To be honest, I know that I couldn't have done it without God's strength, Tim's encouragement, and my parents' support. I am so glad that my parents were able to be there for the most incredible day of our lives!
I think back on March 20th almost every day. Every time I look at my little Vivienna Belle, I remember how God has answered our prayers, given us strength and peace, and blessed us with a beautiful baby girl. How could I be anything but grateful?
Our little family, minutes after the birth
Newborn Vivi!
